“I am Your Beloved”

Going on the Milk & Honey team for the first time I felt so numb. I recently came back to God and I felt so distant and inadequate… I know that this trip is not about me but sharing His love and stuff but it was so hard when I wasn’t feeling him at all. I felt as if everything I was saying and doing were empty words and actions. Anyway, I kept asking myself, why He couldn’t hear me and why I was so far from Him. Later, Jason made us have a time of silence and just listen to what God had to say and right when he said that I got, “I’m here.” I was like “nah… This is just me thinking, not God…” Then this morning we arrived at UC Davis and I felt so apathetic but hurts from the past with in a few people in Milk and Honey came up and it starting really hurting my heart and distracting me and I wanted to give up then n there LOL Any who~ feeling down all day, around 7 PM the girls had praise time and it was literally 2 hours long… To be honest, I was getting tired and bored but I would randomly get in the mood and snap out again. Then the song “I am your beloved” came up and these lyrics came up

“’Cause I’m your beloved, your creation,

And you loved me as I am.

You’ve called me chosen, for your kingdom,

Unashamed to call me your own”

Oh man that ruined me, and God kept repeating, “I’m here” again like yesterday.

After, Joanne suggested we have a reconciliation time (which I was struggling with dis morning) and I GOT ALL MY EMOTIONS BACK!!! God really soften my heart and I AM PROBABLY GOING TO BE EMOTIONALLY unstable now!!!!! jk kind of, but thank ya Jesus because He gave me His heart and He’s breaking my heart for what breaks His~

 w/ love, Jana Chung